


Fuck You, I Think She's Beautiful

by OverlyCheerfulRat



Category: Original Work
Genre: Elves, F/F, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Fluff, Loving Marriage, Old Married Couple, Orcs, they're FANTASY LESBIANS, weird format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlyCheerfulRat/pseuds/OverlyCheerfulRat
Summary: Ung is an orc. Nadril is an elf. They get married anyway.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Kudos: 5





	Fuck You, I Think She's Beautiful

ORC/ELF RELATIONSHIP BC FUCK EVERYONE

-our orc is named, like, "Ung" or some shit like that  
-elf is like.... Nadril  
-so they meet on accident in some Ancient Fantasy Forest, probably fighting off giant spiders, and since they're both Lost As Fuck they build a fire and stare at each other awkwardly  
-ung has a sword that glows in the presence of orcs but she thinks they just glows bc she's always had they. this has nothing to do with the story but i want y'all to know that.  
-both of them initially think the other is SUPER fugly  
-ung feels bad for nadril bc "they're so skinny... so short... they have hair.... their teeth are tiny, and they have no scars! they must be so self-conscious...."  
-nadril thinks ung is literally the ugliest thing in middle-earth bc "they're huge, gray, bald, scarred, and look at those tusks"  
-it should be noted that they're both considered extremely hot in their own cultures  
-neither of them can tell what gender the other is at first; orc women are pretty much identical to orc men in terms of height, vocal pitch, and muscle mass, and they don't have breasts, so there's no way for other races to tell without seeing genitalia (orcs tell each other apart by nose shape- men have flat noses, women have pointier noses). elves are all pretty effeminate and they look so completely different from orcs that ung is totally lost on how to determine gender, or if they even have gender   
-so nadril is pretty sure ung is male and ung is under the impression elves are all One Secret Gender  
-eventually they start to get along more, and they finally figure out the other one's gender  
-they both have some mad culture shock  
-nadril thinks orcs are barbaric, ung thinks elves are horribly stuffy and cold  
-when nadril finds out that orcs eat their dead she's disgusted but ung is horrified by the thought of funerals bc "where do you put them? in the ground? FOREVER? that's just wasteful"  
-they start to become actual friends instead of "we're just kind of lost and trying to survive together" when ung kills a bigass spider trying to eat nadril  
-elf vs orc fighting styles are so different; nadril explains that archery and long-range combat are her forte, and ung tells her how orcs fight (hit target until it stops moving, repeat with next target until all targets are eliminated)  
-"you need to focus on strategy," nadril says. "what the fuck is strategy," ung says  
-after a while they realize they're falling for each other but orc dating customs and elf dating customs are two COMPLETELY different things  
-elf dating is more like Courtship, they go on elaborate, romantic outings and write each other poetry, paint portraits of each other, there are roses involved.... it's a Whole Event  
-orc dating is very hard to tell apart from orc fighting, as it involves lots of wrestling, punching, and throwing of rocks. ung's idea of a date is killing something big together, eating it raw, and then beating the shit out of each other  
-nadril is unsurprisingly not into this  
-they settle on a more casual, "we won't fight OR write ballads"  
-when they finally get out of the woods, which takes way longer than it should tbh, nadril introduces ung to her friends/family  
-they're not impressed  
-"you could have married anyone and you chose this idiot. she's trying to eat the cat."  
-the first dinner they have together is awkward af since ung has no concept of table manners but just follows nadril's lead  
-she accidentally breaks several utensils and eventually just tries to eat with her hands, but carefully  
-the conversation eventually turns to ung's family which is.... fun  
-her dad's name can't be spelled bc it's just hacking and spitting to the side  
-"how do you... write that...?" "none of us know how to write"  
-also, nadril's parents don't appreciate her spitting on the floor  
-ung's attempt to introduce nadril to her family is just as bad if not worse. "she's so tiny, how do you fuck without breaking her?"  
-they leave pretty soon after that  
-when they finally get married it's a beautiful ceremony attended by exactly no one except them  
-everyone thinks they're crazy but they're really, genuinely happy together  
-they live in a nice little cottage for decades, but elves are immortal and orcs... aren't  
-so when ung dies, nadril buries her in their garden, alone  
-she lives in their house, surrounded by all their memories, for years before dying of a broken heart  
-so it kind of ends on a tragic note, but they're together again in the afterlife


End file.
